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testimony

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noun, tes·ti·mo·ny \ˈtes-tə-ˌmō-nē\

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Simple Definition of testimony

: something that someone says especially in a court of law while formally promising to tell the truth

: proof or evidence that something exists or is true

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A philosophical center piece has always been the Delphic maxim: "The un-examined life is not worth Living". a subtle but yet deep thought with many dimensions of depth when fully grasped. The bottom line seems to be the ultimate question for every human is "How should one live life?"


A basic requirement for anyone who doesn't want to go through life with blinders on, but when we examine, life, what do we find?

The truth isn't always so pretty & inviting. The truth we find is usually ugly & repelling, when we look at the truth's of Gangsta-ism, which flood our streets & penitentiaries world wide, with mature, civil eyes, we think right away "What madness, What insanity!" but through the eyes of an impressionable young man-child, he sees this madness as glamorous, attractive & as a vehicle to make his transition from boyhood into manhood.  With the rituals of Quote Sessions (Initiations), Putting in work & the status gained by how much you have & the rep that your name begins to be associated with such as "Rider", "Go-Getter", "Player" etc only strengthens the distorted belief that one has successfully crossed over into manhood. This poor man's bravado gets made up to be respect from one's peers which then translates into a sense of entitlement with short lived highs in forms of cars, women and temporary riches. The Reality of the facts of the matter seem to elude one till he's trapped in a concrete confinement & forced, by the grace of god, to awaken & see the totality in pure clarity.

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God settles the solitary in a home; he leads out the prisoners to prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a parched land.

Psalm 68:6

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The question I purpose to the world of young men out there & my self alike is why does one have to go so deep into that dark Forrest to finally see? Finally to awake to see that he's been PLAYED as a pawn by sticking to the "G Code". In a game that has no true winners , just complete losers waiting to go fed. Only to live out the rest of their days among the walking dead.


"Why?" I ask, does not the facts alone deter his mother's guidance? These questions I have wrestled with in the tranquility of my cell, year after year, while sitting  in a maximum or medium facility for 11 years only before I was granted the blessing of a second chance. A second chance that would be a A Re-Birth with illumination on these subject matters & a calling to give my contribution intuitively spoken.

I speak from the heart with first hand experience on the topics that be. I, Tim Jacobs, being the man-child, at one point in time, that I speak of in my evolution into becoming the purpose driven man of integrity that I am today. As a boy, I learned aggression merited for manhood. I inhaled many moral pollutants & by doing so, I absorbed a distorted sense of self preservation & after being stabbed 9 times, the distortion was only magnified. In my mixed up world, everything was twisted. Sin was my morality, An immature perspective served as my wisdom... and war represented peace. My path was a path of ignorance. As I followed it, it sure enough lead to a Derailment from life as I knew it. Arrested for 2 unrelated charges of Attempted Murder & First Degree Assault, I started the chapter of life at 20 years of age "Lockdown - Out of sight, Out of Mind". As my senses became sober and the month's became colder, the truth about the life I lived & the character I was becoming behind the culture I learned in the streets started tugging on my collar. I could only listen for so long before I willingly indulged in something to distract myself from MYSELF.. such as Cards, Dominoes & Aim-less TV Time. As time went on, my trial grew nearer and since I was caught gun in hand, in order to escape a life time of incarceration by an unanimous "GUILTY!" verdict, I took the final "Deal" that was offered to me which was 18-25 years in the Colorado Department of Corrections.


At the green age of 20 years old, I was sentenced to 22 years in CDOC. As I was escorted back to the holding cell, I watched as tears stremmed down my mother's face as she waved in Love, a goodbye that would signify Hurt, Pain and Shame. The friends, the homies, I dedicated so much time with, doing this, doing that, shedding blood, sweat and tears on the street of Denver were nowhere near. All with different excuses for not being there... but the one's who I trampled over in my day to day ignorance, There they were, Front & Center!



Again, Questions continue to swirl in my head. This time silence is my only answer. From 2003 until 2014, while I lived as an inmate/offender in the department of corrections, I embarked on a transitional path toward redemption. I immersed my self in education, soul searching, edification and spiritual cultivation to transcend my inner ignorance. Subsequently, this redeeming process for me symbolized the end of a bad beginning and new start. Through the disciplines of consistent will power, knowledge, dedication and spirituality, I have removed the pollutants that plagued my mind. Finding that Fork in the road & taking the path less traveled, light was shed on many areas I was in the dark about. I became a student of sociology & psychology, Owing to my own keen observations of others. Prison won't show who who you want to be but it will definitely show you who you DON'T want to be!

I transformed what was designed to be my cage into a hidden university. A Study slash Laboratory to weigh thought against thought. My cell became my secluded place of Challenge that would mold an organically made educated man.


By studying, I found solace in black & white. Page by page, I increased my familiarity with Culture - Mine & Others of the world. Aswell as politics, religion, criminal law and THE WORLD! Not to mention the intermissions that allowed me to get in touch with my self!


but let me make one thing clear, Prison is no friend of mine & never will be. It's objective is to torment my body & mind with years of isolation. Damage being inflicted to my spirit with constant distractions, violence, dehumanizing practices, sensory deprivation and many other injustices. I'm not immune to the chaos of prison, even with a dedcade confined, but I have been able to confront and counter it's meance. My redemption is a continual process of change that promotes day to day improvement in my life. No one has been able to give me Redemption nor intercede on my behalf. I have had to wake up early & work hard to earn it my self.

I had to swim in the gutter, among the dead, but praise be to god I was blessed with the fortitude to step out of the filth, wash off and walk among the LIVING for a SECOND TIME.


My testimony is an everyday reality for many young, misguided, lied to, under priviledged adolescences across the globe, Only difference is I woke up and others have yet to.

So in retrospection, I thin-sliced my life, asking WHY? 

Why  did it take something so drastic to clear the fog of ignorance & lies that I based my young life on? how did I buy into such a clear, deceptive, path to my own destruction and WHY? What would make me put my life on the line for a street in california I never seen nor set foot on? Upon much deep meditation on these subjects, I have been able to bracket different areas I feel need more light in order to cultivate a more critical thinking, productive, young man that aspires more for his life than Tattoos and Prison Bars. I know if I had had someone whom I respected that would of sat me down and who would of been able to aid & assist to  hellp in building these understandings that I now have that I would be forever indebted. That is who I hope to be for those who feel it in themselves that they can do so much better than their current situation.


With my protocol applied and built upon, I am confident, Men and Women, both young & old, will create a global conscience that will give a clear picture to who they are, their social obligations as members of one team that will trump any man-made ego.

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