CHANGE

Defined as “To cause to be different” by the American Heritage Dictionary. Change is constant in the world that we, as humans inhabit. Yet, change is not warmly embraced by our species. As humans, we love comfort. Familiar patterns, familiar reactions give us a sense of security and security gives us peace. We hate it when our normal routes to work get closed for repair forcing us to go a new way. We hate it when our friends take on new ideals that change their points of view that force us to meet new requirements or in some cases, lower the bar. But none the less, change is rarely welcomed.

But living life, you constantly learn lessons; those lessons ingrain valuable elements into your being that change you. This change takes place to all whether they like it or not. Change is a part of life; we aren’t the same at 12 as we were at 6; we aren’t the same at 21 as we were at 12 and so forth. But why is that? How did that change take place and why did it? Why, at 31 am I not the same as I was at 20 when I was first incarcerated and no longer a participant of the world at large? I credit it to awakenings through the willingness to accept life’s lessons. When I was 6 , the lesson may have been to cycle without training wheels; 12 may have been another one, but for me, the 20th year of my life was to change - to tighten up – to take control of my life (a lesson that I failed numerous times) a lesson that leads to awakening after awakening.

When I use the word “awakening”, I see it as my eyes being opened up to something clearly placed in the light of day. These awakenings took place on a long range of subject matters, but the view was always on self; via introspection, being diligent and dividing the word of truth f4rom the falsehoods that the world projected on me through experience. I gained insight that allowed me to make sense of the “why” and “what” but the acceptance to graduate to the next level always came by action in relation to understanding.

If I knew something wasn’t right, I had to subtract it from my life. If I knew something must change, I had to implement that change regardless if others saw it differently.

No matter what, to get to the next lesson, I had to pass the tests by my action. When I was 20 and on the street, my tests led me in one direction; down a path of self-destruction, compared to my awakening in the form of a 22 year sentence that led me on a new path of self-awakenings to greater results and my purpose. When I was incarcerated, I faced a crossroad. One choice was to sit out and basically give up on life. The other was to change and embrace life. Through my own ignorance, my tendency was preset on the first. Being in the lanes and romanticizing that life style was unconsciously giving up on life. I had to ask myself “Why was I out there poppin pistols and why was I out there jacking?” Why wasn’t I using my mind and instinct? Why did I follow a band of thieves? Why did I reject the nerds and books?

When I started examining myself and understanding my actions, I clearly saw I needed a course correction; correction was my catalyst for change. My change started out small but grew in all directions of my being. What was a pinprick of light grew to astronomical size. It’s a knockout blow to gain the understandings that your whole life is a lie. It’s the worst feeling in the world to wake up on concrete bunk in the penitentiary knowing you’ve remained loyal and put in work to get rewarded like this. It was a pitiful reality for a man like me.

Change makes one be different and I realized from the sandbox to the pine box that people don’t want to be different. They want to be accepted. They don’t want to be outside; they want to be inside. I used to see older senior citizens in the neighborhood advocating change and I realized they didn’t care about what people thought of them no more. They cared about the quality of life and the lives around them. But even though we younger ones knew better, we didn’t act better. We didn’t have the strength to be self-sufficient and stand up to the ostracizing that came from choosing different lifestyles, thought patterns and accepted points of views that are different.Everyone buys pairs of J's at a high price regardless because they represent a certain standard. The name alone is accepted because it’s backed by an icon and renowned winner, but every pair isn’t hot. Every pair isn’t worth the price. Same goes for these worldly identities that get put on as easily as shoes and get worn way too long. When your shoes start having holes, you know it’s time to get rid of them. So why do we keep ways of life, identities and so forth that go holes and flaws everywhere? Why don’t we change those? I had to learn all my valuable lessons the hard way. But the greatest thing is now that I’ve learned those lessons; I never have to repeat them. Once you awaken to what’s really true, you are never truly the same and never go back to doing the same, because you finally got it!

Everyone makes mistakes, even the most successful people out there. But, what true high achievers do better than others is recognizing the patterns that are causing those mistakes and never repeats them again. They learn from their pain, theirs and the pain of others. Pain maybe unavoidable, but repeating the same pain twice is certainly avoidable when we could choose to learn and do something different. Our task in life is to observe and learn, recognize what is limiting us and apply change – to be the alchemist in our lives. Some may say we are acting funny or brand new. Let that be the least of your worries. Only you know what’s right for you. You may lose so called “friends” but count it as a blessing because that’s one less person you have to weed out.True friends want to see you get better with all you do. They don’t mind seeing you change. Fake friends want you on their terms and what’s best for them. I’ve lost many so called “friends” on my evolution into manhood; many thought I was acting better than them and couldn’t grasp that I was removing the cancerous thinking ways out of my life.

Some were friends who at one point who were very close but in life we are all on our pace – some quicker than others and vice versa. I can’t move forward with dead weight anchoring me down, nor can you. Sometimes you gotta let go and leave it in God’s hands and follow your inner GPS. We have seasons in our and some “friends” are there for a couple and gone for the rest. Change is a beautiful thing. Without change a butterfly would remain larva. Without change winter would never pass. Value change and embrace it. Know that it’s increasing your personal self-worth. Don’t worry about others’ opinions. Pay attention to what your mind and heart say. You’ve got one life to live. Live your not someone else’s’. Trust that God is guiding and directing your life. Just as a potter shapes his clay, God shares is creations; always raising the clay up,; never pressing down to create his perfections.Change and growth go hand in hand. They are synonymous with each other. Life is change. Life is growth. So as we live out our lives holding onto these childish personas and views we accepted in childhood, know that they can be taken off just as they were put on.

You just have to summon your will power and tell yourself “CHANGE”.