Who's Life are we living?

Who’s Life Are We Living?

By Tim Jacobs

As minutes tick into hours; hours amount to days; days fade into months then months rack up to years, our lives coming and going in what seems like a dream-like haze. Ninety eight percent of the time we stand by idly and watch life go by. People get in the rut of automatically doing the same thing over and over; day in and day out and getting irritated when change disrupts our normal “smooth” flow of life. Why is that when change is constant in this universe that we inhabit?

Life itself is a continuous phase of the sights, sounds and senses of each second of “now”. “Now” being the only true life we ever have but most of us take this fact for granted and drift back to days long past to find appreciation for life. If that’s not true for you, then maybe you’re the type who lives out of an ideal future to come and who’s satisfaction can’t abound till it’s reality is in the here and now. Either way, past or future, if lived out of either, you are robbing yourself of the present moment of “now” which can also be translated as “Life”.

Why isn’t the present moment, the present life, enough for most of us? As I watch people operate on the surface of their lives, I look deeper into how their ears tick. What I see is lives lived in a state of dissonance, like at some magical appointed time the missing element of happiness will manifest itself to them in the form of an object, new job or relationship, only to see their hopes fizzle out in short amounts of time, leaving them one small speck of hope for “the next time”.

In our youth, we are pushed by our parents to aspire to be doctors, lawyers and astronauts. We work our hardest to climb to the pinnacle of these mountains, enjoying the view for awhile but end up camping up there for way too long. The storms come along and wipe us out, leaving a skeleton of who we were. Mud and dirt start to bury us deeper into the worldly settings. What we don’t realize is that one success builds upon another when a career is obtained to reflect outward success to others and not to one’s self. You end up being the one defeated and are left tormented.

For a paycheck, you become shaped and molded not of your own doing but by an institution. You trade off being with your children and watching them grow up. You disconnect and miss out on the companionship with your mate – all for a paycheck that lacks a rewarding purpose.

So I have to ask “who’s life are we living?” I’ve learned that everything in life is a trade off - effort being the measure of results. Eight hours, 10 hours a day for what; to further someone else’s cause; their purpose. What about your purpose? We are only helping to oil someone else’s machine.

All the while we are sacrificing our own happiness, our peace, our health – our limited number of years of life! They who have no central purpose besides obtaining a paycheck, in their lives fall easy prey to petty worries, fear, troubles and self pity; all of which are indications of weakness, which lead to failure and burnout. If a career emotionally drains us day after day, why do we transform into kamikazes instead of hitting eject?

I write this commentary with a bird’s eye view as a prisoner in a correctional setting, restricted for 11 years in the choices of what to wear, what I can do, where to go and no physical embraces but yet my peace and joy within continue to shine brighter than people who I see have all these choices, plus more. It’s just as confusing to me as I am sure it is to the one who reads this.

“How can that be” we ask. How can a man be buried deep in the garbage can of life that society calls prison but yet still be filled with more life than his contemporaries with the latest and $600 electronic device? How is it, I, a man, get doused daily by hate, complaints, and small-minded vulgarities in an environment that only incubates, have more love in my heart than a man who goes home every night to cuddle up to his wife? These things seem impossible to be plausible but they are truths affirmed, not just for me but for many in my situation on a large scale.

Ninety eight per cent of life has turned robotic. For most, that new $600 iPhone was a temporary fix for a long-term problem. That man and wife cuddled up no longer share the same heart beat because for one, if not both. Their mind and spirit are no longer synched together. Instead they are wrapped in a vortex of work, leading to stress and building frustration layer after layer. Their thoughts running wild like a pack of horses, trampling on their lives. Everyday just repeats itself. Steady, perpetuating the stagnation. The purpose long forgotten so I ask myself “outside of my environment where the power hierarchy is imposed – what really separates a man in State issued boots from a man in a State issued suit?”

Both are in many forms or prison; mentally and physically, both willingly and unwillingly, I’ve pondered this thought from all angles and I believe I’ve found the thread of unity that runs through them all.

It’s that both are asleep with their eyes wide open. Both regulated by nothing more than mere bundles of random, wavering thoughts, fluctuating bestial sensations and small purposes. I, being a convict, am still alive and awake; actively a willing participant in my mind and it’s thought development by watching and choosing what I thin and aligning it with a purpose that doesn’t end where the cheese lays on the mousetrap of life.

Circumstance does not make the man. NO. Not at all! It only reveals him to himself. Thought and character will always be one. Just as a desire will always allow one to obtain, but when one aspires, one will achieve. One must put away aimlessness and weakness and begin to think with purpose…. Asking what is the next chapter of my life? Where is my career headed? Am I playing to my strengths? Without a definite major purpose, you are as helpless as a ship without a compass.

A wise man once informed me “He who has mastered fear and doubt has conquered failure”. It’s as true now, as it was years ago when he told me. Life for most has lost its definite purpose they had when they were children aspiring to make their parents happy. Now their thoughts belong to some else’s purpose. They no longer have a self to give totally to someone else. They belong to an entity that is a business and this creates conflict with their soul inducing it with much pain and anguish cause the soul of man knows no limits and fears and doubts draw the lines that box their lives are in.

These truths are known on the subconscious level and that’s where the internal conflict begins. They know they can do more, be more, but stepping out into the unknown is a fear. It’s much safer to stay in the known, even if it causes one misery. Years go by and it’s sad that many have the same story being told. Just like an old repeat of CSI: Miami on TNT.

What are we trading off in life? What are we getting in return? Without a clear understanding of these answers, we are just running in place; headed to a quick end and one day, we will snap to it on our deathbed, fully conscious. Wishing we had lived differently and appreciated life when we had it.

Jesus said in the Book of Mark, Book 4 Verse 25 “For whoever has, to him more will be given; but whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken away” Appreciation being the key to multiplying or dividing.

Life… that is …